Despite the Odds, Roma Flood is helping others

Sunshine Coast resident Roma Flood has endured multiple tragedies in her life, but she has persevered through her losses, and now written a book, titled “Despite the Odds”, that she hopes will help others who are also dealing with deep grief, loss and challenges. Photo: Richard Bruinsma

Abandonment. Kidnapping. Murder. And a fatal plane crash.

To experience just one of these shocking events would be life-changing, but for Sunshine Coast woman Roma Flood, her story includes all of them – and more – and, almost unbelievably, she still has an incredible smile and determined supportive heart.

The unimaginable and repeated deep loss and grief could have caused Ms Flood to fall apart and give up on life, but she persevered through her hardship and has now written a book, titled “Despite the Odds”, which outlines her experiences and the “keys” she used to avoid “going crazy”.

“It’s about all of these events that have happened in my life, but, basically, because of what I’ve been through and the amount of times I’ve been through it, I’ve learned these keys and I wanted to share the keys to reach others so they can walk free and overcome and smile again - like I can,” Ms Flood explained.

Her hardships began when she was just 16. Her mother passed away from ovarian cancer and, soon after, her father walked out of her life, abandoning her at the most needed and crucial time in her life.
Two years later, she married her husband Bernard, and they had two children – Danielle and Jamie.

In 1996, Danielle, then 22, separated from her partner and travelled with her own two children – Lysinda and Jesse – for a holiday to Sydney to catch her breath and find her feet. While there, however, while staying at a women’s refuge, they were accosted by an unstable resident who, days later, stabbed and killed Danielle while she slept.

“Absolute shock, mortified, just unbelievable really,” is how Ms Flood described that tragedy. “It’s hard to digest and to comprehend at the time when they tell you that.”

But the hardships were not yet through. In 2007, Ms Flood lost Bernard, a qualified pilot, and their grand-daughter Lysinda, then just 13, in a light plane crash off Caloundra.

“Lysinda was the only one in the family that really loved flying and when she said, ‘Pop, can I go flying with you?’ he was as happy as Larry, so off they went,” Ms Flood said.

“It was one of those normal days, and they just didn’t come home in the afternoon.

“The plane went down. What happened was the prop disintegrated in flight, there was a weakness in the prop, and Bernard couldn’t control the plane and they died on impact off the coast of Kings Beach.”

While Ms Flood is a Christian, and she believes her faith in God has helped her through the dark times, the book makes only brief mention of her beliefs and is designed to be a general support for everyone.

“None of us are exempt from hardship – none of us – that’s life, basically, and different things happen, and we don’t understand it,” she explained.

“I questioned it, I’ve got to be real, I’m human, I hurt, it really hurt, the losses hurt; because I’m a Christian it doesn’t mean it hurts any less, it didn’t, it was extremely difficult, and I had to work though it just as much as anyone else.”

Through the years of dealing with repeated losses, Ms Flood developed what are survival mechanisms – her “keys”.

“They’re just simple things I learned in order to basically keep myself grounded, and on track, and keep myself from going crazy,” she explained.

“For example, ’staying in today’ is one vital key that I just had to learn, to just reign in my thoughts; you know, ‘Don’t keep going back over the past, don’t run ahead too far, just stay in today, deal with the moment, deal with what you’ve got at this point in time – that was a really significant key for me.

And another:

“Thought patterns are extremely important when you’re going through grief and loss. After time passes, and you start to get back into the swing of life again, start to speak positive affirmations, declare things over yourself,” she explained.

“I believe that when you start to declare things, it’s like self-fulfilling prophesy really, and the more you hear yourself say it, the more you believe it, really. And you need to express it, because your mind just works constantly, so you’ve got to override those thoughts and start to replace it with something positive and hear yourself saying it.”

Despite her losses, and with her determined survival instinct, today Ms Flood is a confident, bright, strong and happy woman.

She is eagerly anticipating the arrival of her book from the printer within days. And she has one last exciting surprise – the book has the endorsement of Hollywood film star Liam Neeson, who himself experienced tragedy with the death of his wife in 2009.

“He just put a post on Instagram, about his loss, and I just responded,” Ms Flood said.

“I talked about my losses very briefly and he sent me a private message, he just said he felt for me, and then I just asked if he would endorse my book, and he said he would, so it was just amazingly simple.”

Mr Neeson’s words are printed on the book’s cover: “Roma Flood’s writing is quite heart touching but stunningly motivational. This book is undisputedly one of those books to read and meditate with, during our darkest days.”

And with that, Ms Flood can’t help but again smile: “It was wonderful.”

Roma Flood’s book, “Despite the Odds”, is available from her website, www.romaflood.com She is offering a special pre-launch offer which expires on July 21.

— Richard Bruinsma